Stop Thinking These 2 Thoughts if You Want to Get Rich

Your money situation boils down to one powerful thing: your mind.

Keeping yourself broke or building your wealth sky-high is based entirely on your mind. How you think, and by extension, how you talk about money is what determines your account balance.

As you think, so you become. Over and over and over again.

A year and a half ago when I decided to get out of debt, I was tired of how I had been thinking. I was bored with thoughts like I can’t get ahead, or, in the job I’m in, you just can’t make good money (teaching yoga). I was bored with thinking in terms of my failure and mediocrity.

Killing the debt and growing my net worth by over $52k in 18 months was based on one thing and one thing only: I changed my mind.

I know that you can grow your wealth too because I know that you can change your mind: You can think different thoughts and design a new financial reality for yourself. You can grow your wealth until you feel cushioned and supported by it.

Below are two of the worst thought offenders that kill your wealth. Change these thoughts, and you will start to see changes in your financial world…

1. “I need to be better with money.”

Please never say the sad-sack phrase “I need to be better with money” in front of the Fiscal Godmother

Thought offender number one, “I need to be better with money,” sounds like you’re saying something responsible… sounds like you intend to up-level your broke behavior… but it’s a sham.

First, you are declaring that you “need” to do something – which is a very victimy way to think. You don’t need to do anything. The question isn’t whether you need to, it’s whether you want to. There’s a world of difference between these two words.

Second, is the rather pathetic “better with money” part. Better with money doesn’t sound like any fun. Being better implies not good enough. So you’re basically saying “I’m bad with money.”

Saying you need to be “better with money” reminds me of that phrase “I need to put on my big boy pants.” Once I was dating a guy, and he fell off the radar for a while, then called me, saying he knew he needed to “put on his big boy pants” and tell me what was going on.

Immediately I broke up with him. Because I don’t want to date anyone that runs around in “little boy pants.” Barf.

Here is a much better replacement: I am choosing to take control of my wealth. Boom. Yes. Not, “I need to be better with money.” Instead, “I AM CHOOSING TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY WEALTH.” Feel the difference?

2. “I can’t afford it.”

The phrase “I can’t afford it” must never leave your lips again…

Ugh. What a pathetic thing to say. This statement is dripping with poverty consciousness. The worst is when it comes from someone who you know has access to plenty of money, but they’re framing the choice not to buy as though they’re part of the “other half.”

No matter which “half” you belong to, you should never say you “can’t afford it.” The fact is that you could find a way to afford it – you could drain your bank account, you could work extra hours, you could steal the money, you could sell something, you could save up for it. But you choose not to.

You’re opting to put your funds elsewhere.

If you truly cannot afford it. Like, you sleep on a bench, and all you own is a tattered copy of The Power of Now, you STILL shouldn’t say you can’t afford it. Because you have dignity! This statement is an insult to your dignity.

Here’s an alternative: “I’d rather not invest in that right now.

Hear this difference? Try saying both of these sentences: “I can’t afford it” and “I’D RATHER NOT INVEST IN THAT RIGHT NOW.”

Do you feel how you are literally a different person when you say the second one?

Please do the Fiscal Godmother a favor and NEVER say either of those two terrible wealth-squelching sentences again.

Peace, love, and money to you, dear Godchild.

What now? Well… three things:

  1. COMMENT BELOW if you’ve found yourself saying other wealth-killing phrases… I’d love to hear what nonense is knocking around in your head!
  2. GET IN on the upcoming “Change Your Money Mind” free online event the Fiscal Godmother is hosting in June by joining the Fiscal Godmother’s List HERE 
  3. EXPLORE the FINANCIAL REALIZATION Course HERE (new session starting soon)

Choose Your 3.5 Big Beautiful Goals

Do you ever feel like you want to get your money under control, but then when you imagine the path to doing it, you kinda wilt?

Even worse, when you imagine what you’d have to do to get your finances to behave, you start to get shameful, guilty feelings? Ghosts of childhood bad vibes come to haunt you. There’s an inner voice that’s like, okay, the fun is over, it’s time to start adulting now…

Then all the shine drains for your past fun times under the dull light of obligation to “be responsible.”

NOOOOOOOO!! The FG does not want these bummer vibes for you.

Taking control of your money must feel positive, exciting, and like taking your life to the next more awesome, glittering place. Yes, it is a journey, so you will need to put one foot in front of the other, but this journey is lined with revelation and insight and confidence-building practices.

At the other end of this journey into positive realization you not only have a lot more wealth, you have a terrific feeling of self-possession that this life is YOUR life! You’re going to live it a thousand percent.

So let’s start with the most important step for positive momentum and a clear direction: your goals.

How to Craft Big Beautiful Goals to Build Wealth

I suggest creating 3.5 goals to inspire your journey to financial realization.

Goal #1: A short-term (2 month) goal – This is something small you should be able to accomplish with in two months. Example: Pay lingering $350 medical bill, or pay $175 credit card balance, or get $500 “just in case” fund in savings account so you never drop down to zero.

Goal #2: A medium-term (3-6 months) goal – This is something more significant that you should aspire to accomplish within 3-6 months. Example: Pay off that one $3,500 student loan in exactly five months, or save up $1,000 ‘Security Fund’ within three months, or Invest $5,500 in my retirement IRA within six months.

Goal #3: A BIG long-term goal – This is a goal that is big and juicy and would be AMAZING to accomplish. Example: Invest $500k in a Vanguard VTSAX fund within eight years, or Pay off my entire $375k home within 5.5 years, or get $100k into a high interest savings account as a house down payment within 24 months.

Of course you scale your goals to your financial situation. For one person, paying off a $30k debt is entirely feasible in six months, for others it might take two years. Don’t compare yourself to Barbara next door – make your goals according to you and your situation. But here’s a really important last one to add…

Goal #3.5: A FUN goal! This is a goal that should be so deliciously delightful that it makes life feel like a game of good vibes! Example: Save $4,500 for my family to go on an anthropological journey to the Galapagos Islands with zero credit card usage, or Save $2,500 for the Peruvian shamanic vision quest I’ve been pondering for years, or Save $1,200 for a black diamond ring to symbolize my allegiance to the wisdom of the night…

Ya feel me? Three goals that involve you growing your wealth, and one goal that touches deep down into your spirit and inspires great joy… it grows your soul’s wealth.

Hey – why don’t you go come up with them right now? I’d LOVE to hear what they are! Would you be so brave as to post one or all of them in the comments below?

*Join the Fiscal Godmother’s List HERE to up-level your finances with sparkly insights and fancy online events…

**Explore the FINANCIAL REALIZATION Course HERE (new session starting soon)

How to Design Where Your Money Goes: The Spending Journal

A big challenge with gaining control of your wealth is developing a discerning eye as to what you actually need to spend your money on.

Before becoming *financially realized* you will likely make spending choices in a similar way to how a dog chooses what to eat: sniff sniff sniff – oh that smells good – chomp chomp!

You follow impulses hither and yon and hither again: I want, I get, I want, I get, I want, I get (consequences? What’re those?). If you can’t afford it, you might put it on a credit card with the thought “I’ll just pay for this when my paycheck comes in.” Or “I’ve had a tough week, I deserve this.”

You deserve what? To be broke? To surround yourself with crapola while your nervous system is in a state of deep anxiety about your security in life?

The problem with spending this way is that you wind up buying things that you don’t deeply value. You buy things you don’t actually want.

Impulse Spending is Self Betrayal

Impulse spending is kind of like emotional eating. If you’ve just had an epic fight with your new boo, it’s possible that you will soon find yourself making out with a fully loaded veggie burger. Or perhaps suckling on a bottle of rose. Or maybe facedown in a pint of ice cream.

Your consumption choices are based on soothing your wounded feelings, not upholding your deeper values.

Impulse spending is like emotional eating…

If you subtly tune in, you might notice a twinge of dis-ease with these impulsive kinds of purchases. This is because making purchases in an impulsive way, or to satisfy shallower cravings, can be an act of self-betrayal.

You are abandoning yourself when purchasing that which doesn’t sing with meaning for you far into the future. You are sacrificing your future self for your present cravings.

You are betraying your deeper urge to live in synch with your values… to invest in your values. But how do you know what you deeply value? Great question. The FG has your answer.

The answer is that your body knows. Your mind has a tougher time because it’s under the influence of so many ideas from people, places and things that aren’t rooted inside you. You must reference the body to sort out if your spending choices truly meet your needs.

You start simply by creating a spending journal.

How to Start a Spending Journal

Start a spending journal to make conscious choices around money

Buy a paper journal that you like the look and feel of. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. You just have to like it.

Every day for a week write down every single expense. Write down the cup of coffee you bought with cash, the subscription service that auto-renewed, the fuzzy socks you grabbed at the pharmacy, the basket of groceries from the bodega, the cost of your health-share.

Write down every single item or service you spend money on. Including the homeless person you gave 35 cents to.

At the end of each day, look at each expense, tune in to the sensations within your body as you think about making the purchase, and take notes on how it makes you feel. What are the associations you have with that purchase? What was the urge that caused it? Or is it an autopay purchase that you didn’t even choose to re-pay? Is that service still working for you? Would you re-buy it today?

Thoughtfully, consciously, review each purchase and take note of how they made you feel.


Using your own inner feelings for reference is a really important step in becoming financially realized because this process is about You taking care of You.

So don’t reference whether a choice was “good” or not based on an outer idea of how someone else would judge it, truly feel into your inner instinct… is this what I really want? Is this a purchase that respects my highest and deepest self?

A Week of Spending Awareness

Do this for a full week and review all that you’ve learned (yay for self-awareness!) at the end. Hop back over to this blog post and share it with the Fiscal G! I’d love to hear from you.

It’s likely that this Spending Journal exercise will totally vibe with you, while you’ll also starting to yearn for a clearer way to make spending decisions. You’ll want to take your spending choices out of a vacuum and into the BIG PICTURE of your LIFE.

You’ll want to learn to make spending choices based on big beautiful goals that you would love to achieve.

Great news! We are going to do that in the next post… stay tuned next week.

*Join the Fiscal Godmother’s List HERE to up-level your finances with sparkly insights and fancy online events…

Bringing the Glamour Back to Budgeting

Okay so now you’ve learned the wealth-building equation, you know the deal: the equation for building wealth is spend less than you make and invest the rest. Sounds simple enough.

In fact, building wealth IS simple, it’s just not easy when you’ve been practicing a different set of habits around money.

As I said in the last post, you are quite likely caught in wealth-blocking thought patterns that spill over into wealth-blocking behaviors. One of the biggest wealth-blocking thoughts is:

I don’t want to budget because that sounds like a total bummer.

Saving Money Can be Glamorous

The Fiscal Godmother circa 2013

For some, the idea of spending less than they make and saving the rest can even feel like a punishment. You work so hard for your money, and you can’t even spend it on what you want? You have to live on an allowance like a child? Sucky sucky lame lame!

But the Fiscal Godmother is here to tell you that the way you have been thinking about budgeting is incorrect and based on ill-fitting, unglamorous role models.

Budgeting sounds like a punishment because you’ve got a generic, lame-ass set of images and ideas associated with it.

Your vision for how the wealth-building equation could fit you is held hostage by images of people watering down their ketchup and sleeping on leaky air mattresses and working 14 hour days, then waking up at 5am to do it again.

F that.

Your Fiscal Godmother does not want that fate for you! You need at least eight hours of sleep and it’s best if you awake naturally – not to an alarm. A good night of sleep is the precursor to a day full of good decisions.

Instead, think about the wealth-building equation differently…

Learning to Budget is Like finding the Perfect Little Black Dress

Think of taking control of your finances like having a great Little Black Dress

The little black dress is the perfect basic piece that an entire amazing outfit can be based upon (or well-fitted black suit -LBS- if you prefer). It could be the only item you bring on a nine day sojourn to Europe. But it’s boring if you just wear it straight off the rack.

A little black dress is so divine because of all the ways that you can style it to make the look your own – how you do your hair, the shade of your nail polish, whether you wear lightweight or chunky jewelry… don’t even get me started on the shoes! OMG the shoes can change it from summer festival wear to gala wear!

Michelle Obama wearing a simple little black dress at the ESPY awards ~ style for DAYS

Oftentimes people get intensely bummed out because they think about the wealth-building equation – spending less than you make and investing the rest – like it should be one-size-fits-all. They think they need to style their life in some generic fashion of frugality in order “spend less.” Au contraire ma chère!

Styling the wealth-building equation perfectly to YOU is what will make budgeting endlessly enjoyable (and sustainable)!

It is what will make you debut onto the scene of the financially free emanating glamour and poised with dignity.

There are infinite ways you can play with this equation. But as important as understanding the equation is you being able to tailor your budget to who you are and what turns you on.

I don’t know who this woman is, but she gets approximately four thousand gold stars for rocking her unique little black dress style – and attitude!

Once you get the hang of this, of accessorizing your budget according to a lifestyle that genuinely lights you up, you will naturally find the inner momentum to make the the wealth-building equation work for you… and you will see your wealth grow each month.

But what does this look like in real life dearest Fiscal Godmother? You might be wondering…

Great question, my beautiful broke godchild.

To tailor the wealth-building equation just to you, you must home in on your unique values.

When Your Values Match Your Choices You Can Save Gobs of Cash

We all want very different things in life. Some people have a taste for the most expensive everything (which, as we will explore in the future, is a terrible weakness of character that displays a poor constitution).

Most people value a few very specific things – there are a handful of important elements that bring value and satisfaction to their daily lives.

These are the perfect “accessories” for you… the ones that make your life resplendent with your real wants and desires.

Based on my work with other broke ass beautiful babies, oftentimes the excess spending that can be trimmed is actually spent on things they don’t truly value… like when you wear an awkward accessory with your LBD just because someone gave it to you – but you don’t actually love it.

Or shoving your feet into uncomfortable heels because they’re “on trend”, when you’d rather wear your classic and comfortable vintage Ferragamos that you got for only $35 at HousingWorks.

By choosing the path of financial realization, you delete the excess from your spending and get down to the bone of what you really want… in the future, and in your daily life.

Julie and Simone displaying the heights of glamour possible with a simple LBD

This self-realization process around budgeting is the magic that will bring the wealth-building equation to life for you. It will also bring you closer and closer to the life you really want to be living, as opposed to lugging around yester-year’s trends and choices.

In the next post, we will get down to the bone with what it means to budget.

Ready to take control of your wealth RIGHT NOW? Take part in the Fiscal Godmother’s online Financial Realization course which runs May-June, check out the COURSE PAGE and send an email saying you I’m ready to wake up my money! Can’t wait to dress you for financial success…

*Join the Fiscal Godmother’s List HERE to up-level your finances with sparkly insights and fancy online events…

The Wealth-Building Equation

This post contains the only thing you need to know to build wealth.

Here’s the deal: At the end of the day, if you bring home more money than you spend, and invest the rest, you’re building wealth. Period. That’s it.

Thus, the equation for building wealth is spend less than you make and invest the rest.

Let’s break this down so it’s crystal clear.

  1. You make money: You have a job and they pay you, or you’re self-employed and you charge people for something, or you sell things from your home, or you pick up lots of coins off the street, or someone regularly gives you a cash, etc… Somehow, money comes into your hands.
  2. You spend money: You pay for food, shelter, soap, coffee, stilettos, kitty litter, phone bills, Tarot cards, a gym membership, etc… Basically, money leaves your hands and goes back out into the world.
  3. The difference: Generally, there is a difference. You might have spent more money than you make, so the difference is negative. If you spend less money than you make, the difference is positive. If you make and spend about the same amount, there’s zero difference.
  4. Debt: You go into debt when you spend more money than you make. This debt might accrue through a credit card, a school loan, a car loan, by owing a friend or relative money, etc. Or you might just never pay a bill – so you’re in debt to that company.
  5. Investments: An investment is money that you have committed to something with the expectation of additional income or profit. There are many things that fall into the category of investment: Retirement accounts, 401k, the stock market, etc. Other types of investments are real estate, private equity, Birkin bags, your niece’s education in hopes that she’ll pay your rent one day… investments basically mean you’re putting surplus money toward something you hope will bring back greater value in the future.

The wealth-building equation is very simple. Let me remind you: spend less than you make and invest the rest.

Example: If you make $100/day, and only spend $80, after five days you’re going to have an extra $100 (because you saved $20/day and 20 x 5 = 100). If you “invest” that money in something that appreciates (grows) in value, you’re going to not just amass money, that base amount of money will lay little golden eggs that grow into additional wealth.

Imagine… Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine how it would feel to know that every single day your wealth is growing… you have a nice solid base of wealth and it’s increasing every day. What happens in your body when you imagine having ever-growing wealth? Does it feel steadier? Calmer? Does it feel exciting to know your security is growing? Does it bring you a sense of freedom?

The wealth-building equation may be simple, yet it’s hard to actually pull it off and make your money grow for one main reason:

You are caught in wealth-blocking thought patterns that spill over into wealth-blocking behaviors.

In the next post I will offer the solution to this wealth-blocking issue.

If you want to join the FGM for a course in FINANCIAL REALIZATION to transform your own relationship to your finances, check it out HERE

*Join the Fiscal Godmother’s List HERE to up-level your finances with sparkly insights and fancy online events…

Image of mathematician Lorraine Turnbull Foster

Meet the Fiscal Godmother

Who is the Fiscal Godmother? Well, she’s an aspect of me, Ariel Kiley, that is driven to help you gain control of your money without losing an ounce of dignity or glamour.

Taking control of your wealth changes so much more than your net worth

By “waking up your money” (I’ll tell you more about what that means in a future post), you will slide into the driver’s seat in your life. You’ll feel in charge in a way that you have never felt before.

You’re so cool when in financial control…

For many, behavior around money is a huge blind spot in overall maturity and health.

This is normal, but totally unnecessary. One of the problems is that many of the institutions that are supposed to support you were actually taking advantage of you. Many systems benefit from you being financially helpless and disempowered. Also, sometimes people that supposedly love you send you messages that building wealth and security is bad, you can’t do it, or it means you’re corrupt in some way.

It’s a whole dysfunctional thing we humans do with each other – oftentimes unconsciously. But you’re waking up from that spell now, aren’t you?

Fortunately, gaining control of your wealth isn’t some mysterious or magical thing. It’s a series of simple, practical steps.

The Fiscal Godmother is here to help you see your own financial blind spots, take the steps to gain control of your money, and lift your gaze to your wide open horizon. The Fiscal Godmother wants you to play, to pirouette through this life filled with possibility, not to live each day crammed in a box of no’s.

The FiscalGM
doesn’t want you to live in a box

This “Fiscal Godmother” name is, of course, a play on “Fairy Godmother” because the part of me that wants to help you has got that fairy godmother vibe: she wants to grant your wish to no longer feel subservient to other systems and people. She wants to make it easy for you to shake off the rags of shame and fear, and slip into your full dazzling confidence. She wants to help you believe in your potential to be and do and have so much more.

Many people think they want to win the lotto or marry someone rich. But this would, in actuality, suck ass.

A free ride isn’t nearly as enriching as a self-designed one. What you really want is to build your own empire in this life, according to your own genuine wants and needs.

As you’ll learn, taking the incremental steps to understand how money works and change your financial behavior is what will give you the actual freedom you’ve been wishing for.

THE COURSE: You ready to wake up and take control of your money? Check out the FINANCIAL REALIZATION 9-week online course with the FiscalGM (aka Ariel Kiley) that runs May-June HERE

*Join the Fiscal Godmother’s List HERE to up-level your finances with sparkly insights and fancy online events…